Update on Life

So I sorta boycotted this thing for a while, but I think I'll give it a go again... we'll see. So what's up? Well, been happily married for a year now, and have a 7 week old baby girl named Katie Beth. She's so sweet! anyways, that pretty much catches anyone up who didn't have a clue what was going on...

I have been searching for a nanny/sitter for the past few days - it's overwhelming! I mean you hear people say it - "nobody can care for my baby like I can"... but really, nobody can! It so hard to think about a stranger taking care of my little bundle in a coupla months. :( Have had several replys, and none seem like ax murderers but still, I wonder - will they hold and comfort my baby when she cries? Will they play with her and keep her company.. or just let her hang out all alone and get paid to make sure she survives... :( :( At least it's only a coupla days a week, and I can screen them enough to at least feel like they won't grab her and run...

On other news, I'm working on my app for Grad school. It's seriously wigging me out. I really want the master's degree, and I think I'm even ok with going back to school, it's just that the new chance for failure/rejection with the app process and then trying to make the grades really stresses me. I like learning, but I don't miss the stress of making the grade....

We are also looking to buy a house, which is a whole 'nother bag of worms. I mean it's so seriously exciting and scary at the same time that in combo with the new baby and grad school thing I'm a little overwhelmed I believe. I feel so old and young at the same time. I mean I'm 24 with a new baby, but at the same time, I'm married with a baby and buying a house?! Where did the time go? yesterday I had a cap and gown on graduating from school seems like!

So I bought a sling today for Katie Beth... I think it will be SERIOUSLY handy as I will be able to have both hands to do stuff and my arm won't be so tired carrying her around ... yay! We ran to petsmart, publix and target after I bought it to try it out. A lot of people looked, but everyone seemed to think it was a cool/novel idea. Yay no weird looks like "what was she thinking?" - not that it would change my mind, but it was nice to feel innovative and hip ;).

hmm... baby is in her crib fussing. We are trying to work on falling asleep better in the crib. I think it would help if we could get into some sort of schedule or routine, but at the moment our days are sortof haphazard. Hate the "crying it out" method, but as so far she's not really crying, just sortof talking and fussing it's ok so far. Don't think I'll be able to hack it if she works up into the "OH MY GOD MOMMY COME GET ME SERIOUSLY I MEAN IT" cry. It's too much. I never thought it'd get to me that much, but when she starts that all I can think of is how much she must feel like I'm failing her by not coming to see and help her, and so I end up running to the rescue. It's so comforting to both of us to hold her and whisper to her and comfort her. But someday we have to learn to sleep.....


hmmm.... In the mean time, I will look forward to a walk outside in the lovely fall air with Sadie and KB in sling, instead of trying to fight dog and stroller, or end up out of luck b/c stroller is in daddy's car with him at work - sling stays with me! :)

better go work on a list of questions I wanna know from my childcare interviews....

laters!